Wonders of the South: Mahonia

Home from New York where it was bracingly cold and back in Atlanta where it snowed again. Fortunately, there was no snow left on the driveway when I got home, but I could barely wrestle the mail out of the mailbox in the dark because of the hideous and razor sharp shrub, Mahonia, that has overgrown around it. This bizarre and unsightly freak of nature is mahonia japonica, a.k.a. "Leatherleaf" plant, Oregon Grape, or Creeping Barberry.  The first time I inspected one up close and personal, my first thought was, Mother Nature is one crazy bitch.  My second thought was Little Shop of Horrors.

Mahonia plants are prolific, thriving partial shade or full sun and just about any type of soil, including our dense Georgia red clay.  You cannot kill them. My mailbox Mahonia just about attacks me when I go for the mail.  Beware. Do not attempt prune Mahonia without wearing gloves.  In fact, plan to double up your hand protection when you try to stuff the prunings into a lawn and leaf bag.

It's not just the ugliness and the sharp pointy leaves, it's the way this plant morphs from something like a holly plant to a berry-laden bush with a church lady hat.  After the Mahonia plant produces its plump blue berries in the winter, it bursts into crazy yellow flowery tassels.  Honestly, you could not invent a more prehistoric, bizarre looking shrub if you tried. 

The ripe Mahonia berries are very blue and apparently appealing to birds. Evidently humans can eat the berries too, and one citation declared them to be "delicious in your morning muesli."  No thanks. An English gardener writes: "I forgot to mention that we made some jelly ('jam' if you're a Brit, or 'preserve' if you want to sound sophisticated) from our Mahonia berries.  But you don't want the seeds in it and it's next to impossible to hand pick all the stalks off the berries. So, after adding plenty of sugar and bringing the preserve to a boil, we passed it all through a sieve. We found it very tasty - especially with freshly made scones, either buttered or with clotted or whipped cream." Clotted cream?  I'm thinking a dollop of Roundup.